Some say that a strong marriage rarely possesses two strong individuals at the same time. Interchanging ideas and unity between the husband and wife is the critical piece that may be lacking in some. Two strong individuals, acting in unison, make for an incredibly strong relationship.
Ninety days after our nuptials and we continue to sort out what our normal looks like. In these three months we've shared a number of heartaches and joys, doing all of it together. A 'normal' day is anything but, taking the hustle and bustle by the boot straps and just going. We take each day in stride and are looking forward to the next year. With each passing day it becomes increasingly difficult to remember what life was like before we met, before we were engaged, and before we were married.
Looking back, our six month engagement was one of the fastest periods of our life. We learned how to love each other best, planned an intimate wedding together and are now learning what life looks like living under the same roof. But, is it as easy as that just sounded?
I can remember the week when we got engaged, it was one to remember. As most have that time to share with their family and friends, I was in the midst of a unique situation. In 6 days I was to fly home, to my home, without my fiancé. Sharing the excitement alone and awaiting his homecoming. I remember sitting and looking out the huge glass paneled barrier, that separated myself and the airplane I dreaded to board. It was a dark feeling, like a pit in my stomach feeling, but I did as I always do - shrugged it off and ahead I went.
One of the things I have unintentionally learned to do is comparing in order to dilute. See, if you know anything about me then you know I am not shaken easily. I know that what I am going through at the time must be affecting someone else in a different way. So comparing my struggles to what someone else may be going through helps me understand that others may be having a more difficult time than I am at the present time. I mean, me boarding a plane without a fiancé is pretty minor compared to what others struggles are.
and then the move happens and we are united
Planning a wedding for 30 people sounds easy but all the ideas in my head said otherwise. Attending and photographing a dozen or more weddings each year makes for high expectations, even when you try to avoid it. Meeting my own lofty standards may have been the highest expectation of all. My goal was to have all of the beautiful details sorted beforehand, I wanted to enjoy the day with my family and my new husband.
The gathering of my favorite local vendors started. I started with florals and went on to renting farmhouse tables, collecting china from the local thrift and starting the design of what I wanted to be a simplistic invitation. Spreadsheet upon spreadsheet were the ideas, numbers, pricing and guests of who I wanted to attend. Everything started to come together in what seemed to be a simple fashion. We knew we wanted a ceremony right between our homes and close to the property line of where we grew up as kiddos, and so that is what we did.
So many friends and family were there for us. The weeks leading to and the day of.
We had help with the catering, our timeline for the wedding, the flower arrangements and with the tent setup. People donating their time to set-up, drive and deliver, which was a blessing.
The morning of the wedding I can remember just relaxing and trying to calm my nerves. Which I could tell were starting to get a little uneasy, knowing I would be seeing this handsome groom soon. One who I fell in love with months ago and still to this day. My sister, Mom and I had the house together. Spending time and getting ready as a family, which I decided long before that I wanted my sister alone to stand by my side.
The 3'oclock hour hit and it was time. Time to walk out the door and into the arms of the man I loved more than I could even describe. As I hustled into my dress, I slipped my wedges on and on the earrings went. As I walked outside, I felt the warm sun and the breeze blow the sides of my dress up and down. Around the east side of the barn we went, to hide for the intimate moment. As I turned the corner I caught glimpse of a man who loved me unconditionally, even when I am dumb and make stupid choices. The man standing was passionate about his love for me and was not ashamed to show me every single day. He stood there, bold, knowing he was marrying his lifelong partner in just a few hours.
and then he turned around and I smelled what reminded me of something safe. We both uttered "hi" like we hadn't seen each other in a decade. Our eyes locked and he whispered "the first thing I noticed were your eyes, you're gorgeous"
We finished up with our photos and the ceremony was approaching. We had the most perfect intimate ceremony out in our field. The birds were singing, goldenrod was blooming and I could hear the sounds of the violin and cello as my daddy and I hoped out of Wes' Camaro. We exchanged vows with not a dry eye, kissed and had a lavender exit with our closest friends and family.
Once the wedding was over, moving my things in with him began. Loads of clothes and shoes galore. We rearranged our living space to accommodate both of our needs and we still do that to this day. We try our best to take one another desires into mind. Working as a team, with each other, and not against. We learned to mourn together, one of our beloved pups passed away only 3 days after our wedding day. We have adjusted our life from single to married, and with that comes trials.
Of course we have disagreements and we bug the living heck out of each other. I know I get on his nerves but he chooses to love me endlessly. When I have him clean up his 473638 pieces of clothes laying around, he does it without a fight. Cooking is a team effort, one being the cook and the other the dishwasher. Laundry is my therapy and I think he is coming to learn that, so it stays untouched. But, all that doesn't matter as much as just having him by my side. Sitting with our hips touching and watching a movie, with one arm around me. The small kisses he randomly gives me and the strong embraces, just to say "I love you."
Nothing beats the patience and calmness of a man, when you're upset. The firm stance when he tells you that it is going to be ok. The daily reassurance that you are for his eyes only and knowing he thinks you're the prettiest thing ever. Surly, more than ever, the love he has for Jesus and his compassion for others outweighs most qualities. Because, if he tries to be like Jesus every day of his life- I'll marry him again, every day of my life.
Looking back, the hardest edges of difficulty have softened and the beautiful moments still fuel our fondest memories. Because long before our paths crossed we had moments where we thought we would never find hope in a good relationship. Daily reminders of being lonely filled with gaps of that presence needed by another individual was growing and growing. However, we were both raised with faith in knowing that we serve a mighty God and there are not any miracles too big or small for his hands. Keeping that reassurance within us but living a daily life of the norm sure was hard, but nothing is harder than what you make it.
Echos of our milestones together grace the walls and fill the shelves of our small home; each photograph and keepsake telling a story of its own. Our walls are small but I like it that way. There are no expectations to meet for our love. We don't need a huge house and lots of money. If we have a car that can get us from here to there, we are settled. Our dogs are spoiled brats but we keep spoiling them more every day. If we get to share the love of Jesus with the world, we will do it as many times as he allows. Keeping in the "meantime" an every day occurrence. Showing those around us that love is meant to be known, without validation from others.
photo credit: http://jpballphotography.com | coffee bar: https://www.yieldcoffee.com | MUA:https://www.flawlesshairandmakeupllc.com | hair: ColleenFoxxHairDesign |